Alten

Bregan

Cestianna

Brad

Kachein

David

VarNaNae

Neriza

Ashley

Alten

I’m 60 years old and a classic alcoholic who has come to the end of his road. If not for this place, my next move would have been my last: death from bad choices in addiction. I grew up in Connecticut in an upper middle class household with five brothers and sisters. My father, a brilliant man and alcoholic, moved us to Indiana when I was 17. I got a degree at Indiana University and moved to California, where he died at age 53 from acute alcoholism. From there I started a successful 35-year executive career in media with major companies like CNN and NBC Universal. I raised two beautiful children with my then wife, but my growing addiction destroyed all of that. I moved from having a functional life up until my 50s, to eventually having a life of complete despair and hopelessness from these choices. I was stuck and out of control, economically and spiritually bankrupt. By the time I was 58, I was weeks away from homelessness with no clear way out of the situation I had put myself in. My vicious addiction to alcohol and false identity based on material attachments had literally torn my life apart. My anger, fear, and resentments had put me in a Godless life that was dissolving right in front of me. I ended up in a rescue mission in another state. It was there I discovered the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program (PIRP). They graciously accepted me. I thank God for His mercy, compassion, and divine intervention, leading me to this place and program. The PIRP healing ministries saved my life because they literally healed my mind, body, and spirit (soul). I am a hopeless alcoholic when left to myself, in a state of mind of false attachments, addiction, and despair. The PIRP program solved these issues and taught me new ways of thinking that focused on spiritual trust and faith of God our Father. I now have hope and am learning how to ‘Walk in Faith’ with Him. I learn new things every day here. I am more actualized and prospering in new spiritual ways, focusing on serving others — an orientation of service rather than self-assertion; doing what God wants, not what I want. The PIRP ministry has provided me a home with a family of great people who truly care about my wellbeing! The two programs work side by side, supporting all areas in which I need to grow and heal. For me, addiction and homelessness started with wrong thinking and a bad attitude and choices that created a distorted state of mind. The leadership here clearly knows that and have the experience with God to truly heal. I am safe and trust them, getting better each day. I now walk in faith, never to return to the choices I made in the past. I am free, sober, productive, and with a home. With family. I am grateful, to me this place is a miracle. The high road is hard to find, but you will find it here.

Alten is now 61

Genevein

Since joining the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program nearly six years ago, I have come to realize that to heal the soul is a commitment and dedication to not only God but to all of my brothers and sisters worldwide. I was a single mom for four years and a holistic practitioner before coming here. I was very much caught up in the, “I’m ok you’re ok syndrome; I can do it, no I don’t need help, I am strong enough.” This was pride for sure and resistance to God wanting to help me on a deeper level. I am slowly letting my guard down because of the love that is given from the entire community. My son is flourishing, now ten years old. I decided to stay on and become an initiate and then a full member of Global Community Communications Alliance. I married a beautiful man who grew up in the community, and he is a wonderful father to my son. Even though I feel that I am in the roots of my rehabilitation process, I can also see the progress I have taken throughout the years here and am growing in patience, being humbled by the many soul patterns I discover throughout my daily life. At first one might not be able to see these patterns so clearly. The world has a way of helping one put up blinders. Here there is just a very “real” reality, eventually seeing and praying to overcome patterns to be more of service and to be a mandated minister in helping others overcome similar issues. The support here from our elders is of such a great significance that it brings much gratitude within my heart after much contemplation, the ongoing submission that must grow within my healing process. I would like to share some of the soul patterns that I have personally. I am in the process of healing extreme insecurity. This takes on the form of jealousy and competitiveness. This is very much an area where I keep my heart hidden from God, so not to reveal too much and accept love in. It causes this insecurity in God and creates many blocks from developing what we call here, personality integration or actualizing my destiny. In interacting with many people here, always being challenged to become more flexible and loving, creating a variety of conflicts to be overcome, I have a hard time forgiving my past and bring my past into current relationships. I then have a hard time forgiving others but mostly of how I resist forgiving myself. God always wants us to start anew. The lower emotional state of fear overrides my mental state and creates a disconnect from the Three fold Spirit within. In those moments I lose faith and a sense of the big picture, God's eternal plan for His daughter to aspire in spiritual stamina and assurance of herself; to walk my walk, talk my talk, and be sincere and honest with my mistakes. I must reconciliate in order to become spiritually stabilized. Coming from the New Age world, I have taken on the relative understanding of how food is the higher healing modality to depend on. Now understanding deeper, it first starts with the Spirit, the physical is not priority. Moderation is always what God intends, as long as you are able to be more moment to moment within His perfect will. Deprivation of any kind is never a true spiritual discipline. Yes we will all be asked to let go of things that do not serve us—physical substances, patterns, people, and agendas—but God is a very giving God, wanting mostly for us to love and surrender, not wanting to be in control. To give up control is very foreign to this world. I am married now, soon to have another child. Now more than ever I see the importance of letting go of control, allowing God to heal and support my every action in life. We call this living in Divine Pattern. Always wanting to be in control causes co-dependence that harms the higher way of being a true complementary pair unit with my husband. Within this higher reality, cohesiveness with all complements is an absolute, in order to achieve purpose and ascension. In closing I'd like to share that being human we often times choose to not see our greatness correctly, but to become great we must be more real with our areas of being less than perfect. Humbleness is the key ingredient for this. Here in Divine Administration, we strive to become perfect as our Creator Christ Michael Jesus is perfect. I choose to become more perfect every day when I choose to change for the common good of all. Thank you for this opportunity to share. May God guide your progress to eternal heights.

Genevein is now 39

Bregan

I am originally from Encinitas, California and was raised in southern California for about 21 years. If it was not for P.I.R.P. I would be either homeless, in jail, in an asylum, or dead. I have no doubts about these scenarios playing out if I had not found P.I.R.P. I have been homeless, I have been addicted to drugs, I have been an alcoholic and a social outcast. I have seen counselors, psychiatrists, ministers, priests. I have been to rehabilitation and support groups, but nothing has ever had any lasting effects other than the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. This program has helped me to become physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually fit, from the ceaseless work of Minister Dr. Marayeh and her elders. The big struggles that I have faced in my life have been lust of the flesh, delusions of the mind, and the feelings of being a societal outcast. Marketing, media, video games, and movies fed all of these weaknesses of mine. You could say that I was perpetually feeding the black wolf, who was slowly taking over my life to the point that I was unable to function. Jobless, about to be homeless again, with virtually no friends, I was at bottom before the P.I.R.P. program began to lift me up. The program has been the wind beneath my wings, and I am truly starting to fly. I am becoming okay with celibacy before marriage, my future visions are becoming realistic and obtainable, and I have over 100 friends—which is a rarity in this day and age. Overall I am becoming happy, peaceful, patient, kind, and generous. Thank you founders Gabriel of Urantia and Niann Emerson Chase!

Cestianna

Being of the “baby-boomer generation,” I am very grateful that the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program was opened up to me. Having no physical substance abuse or addiction, I was bewildered by my years of unstable emotional behavior and negative judgmentalism about nearly every thing and every one. Somehow I managed to survive but eventually found myself feeling empty, unfulfilled, and albeit a “social misfit.” The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program founders, Gabriel of Urantia and Niann Emerson Chase, reviewed my personal background and experience, then selected a counselor (who I often refer to as my PIRP Coach) and developed an individual program for me to follow. I was also invited to participate in one of their biweekly support groups. I have daily and weekly assignments, journaling, and private one-on-one counseling at least weekly (and more whenever I feel the need for an extra boost). In all honesty, I must say that for me the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program is akin to Olympic training – I have never worked so hard on myself and for myself…….ever! I have discovered deep-rooted hidden patterns of jealousy, competitiveness, resentment, and judgmentalness that are ugly, and I am relieved to be getting rid of them. Painful at times, yes; but we all know about “no pain, no gain.” I am learning how these behavior patterns develop and how to overcome them with a spiritualized mind and heart-centered approach. At times, it is temporarily euphoric to recognize when I have made real progress; and I want to share with everyone I know how truly beneficial and healing the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program is! In my bi-weekly group, under the direction of Dr. Marayeh Cunningham, I am surrounded by and supported by many individuals with very different past addictions, abuse, and/or personal traumatic experiences to overcome. We are all relearning and applying the true meanings of the words “love,” “accountability,” “forgiveness,” ”commitment,” and “cohesiveness.” It is an honor to be welcomed by and genuinely accepted by each and every person in the group and those instrumental for the success of the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. We are dedicated to building a new paradigm for the future – baby boomers, adults, and teens – creating forever friends (which is a song TaliasVan wrote) and developing relationships filled with truth, beauty, goodness, and service to others. Humility is a beautiful state of being, and the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program is the keystone for me. I highly encourage you to inquire about the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program for any one you care about who may need a new lease on life.

Cestianna is now 66

Klaus

graduated

Hello my name is Klaus, and I am 49 years old. I am originally from Germany, but moved here via Ireland, where I owned and ran a farm. The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program made it possible for me to advance spiritually more than I ever could have imagined. Whereas in the former third-dimensional thinking I presumed there is not much more I could do to advance because of the factor of relativity, like what is true of the UFOs, all the different opinions of cosmology, or what is really behind Christ? An answer to this came with the Fifth Epochal Revelation (The URANTIA Book) and Continuing Fifth (The Cosmic Family volumes). Every serious student of these books should come to the conclusion that these books are not written by humans, but transmitted by celestial beings with revelations way, way beyond what humans could ever know. In fact, these are the highest revelations ever produced on Earth and are available for everyone. An even more important point refers to my personal change. Growing up in the third dimension creates a lot of wrong concepts and attitudes. These are quite well hidden in the psyche. The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program religious community is designed to change it and to bring you, as a result, to a higher spiritual level. Yet, because of the hidden nature and upcoming resistance of those attitudes, it takes time to change. Being here now about three and a half years in this community, I am still very much in the process of change, yet long enough to see many profound changes in me, which allows me to communicate with my brothers and sisters in a higher way. I’d especially like to refer to the Jesus Papers of The Urantia Book. This is a true report of the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth produced by the midwayers, which are similar to angels, yet closer to humans. For me personally these teachings are very profound. They have, along with my service work, caused me to change my life towards a higher and better way. Only with these teachings I can finally understand (and learn to apply) what it means to: “Love God above everything and love your neighbor as yourself.

Klaus is now 60

Steve Alish-Tasen

My name is Steve, and I am 56 years old. I made the mistake of not joining The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program’s work more than 14 years ago when I first came into contact with them. If I would have, I could have been spared a tragic divorce and the loss of my four children. Pride got in the way, as it does in many people’s lives when they don’t recognize their spiritual elders and wish to be elders themselves before they are ready. I went from job to job, and place to place, struggling to survive and find myself. Although I knew deep inside I had much to give, I could not be balanced and stable enough to give what I had. The ministry program of Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program facilitates my personal growth process affecting all areas of my life—spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Gabriel of Urantia, Niánn Emerson Chase, and the PIRP ministerial staff provide unconditional love and support centered on teaching by exemplary example, being in loving service to others. The privilege to live and work within this support system has afforded me the opportunity to live a practical spiritual life without economic stress. My home is very comfortable, peaceful, and beautiful. My mental health is monitored and nurtured by PIRP’s licensed psychologist. I am afforded the opportunity to attend bi-monthly counseling sessions supplemented with any additional meetings as needed. My dietary needs are abundantly met with the work of PIRP organic gardeners, community cooks, and food support staff. My physical wellness is now nurtured by the PIRP healing team of a physician, nurses, and massage therapists. The PIRP lawyer and legal team have successfully aided me with my legal issues. Socially, I am encouraged to participate in many functions and activities, and attend concerts of musicians from all over the world at Future Studios. I am eternally grateful for the uncompromising love and support. As I said, I have been acquainted with Gabriel of Urantia, Niánn Emerson Chase, and the PIRP spiritual community since 1993. I have discovered them to be honest and consistent in all their endeavors. I see a future for myself in the service of God and humanity. I cherish the opportunity to be of service.

Steve Alish-Tasen is now 66

Brad

My name is Brad, and I am 18 years of age. I used to smoke a lot of dope before I came here. As a matter of fact, people called me Dazed and Confused. Being in the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program sponsored by The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program has brought on several physical benefits that have had a tremendous and positive impact on my life. Having a set schedule and routine has allowed me to get more sleep, and has thus brought balance and energy. I’ve been working in Avalon Gardens. This work has increased my stamina and strength drastically, and this, along with a healthy organic diet, has brought an incredible state of health and vitality on, bringing me into an optimal physical condition in a very short time. Having a set schedule, working, taking spiritual classes, enjoying musical performances and films are just a few things to name which have brought variety into my life, allowing me to enjoy a more active lifestyle with more interaction and entertainment, coupled with discipline and introspection, which has created a life of balance I’ve always needed. The lifestyle here in the PIRP—from work to diet and from spirituality to the great community family—has manifested a strength within me that has allowed me to quit, and stay off drugs. After using for over six years, quitting has reminded me of the clarity and strength of a clean mind and body. The people here in this community are inspiring and uplifting, their actions and attitudes keeping my mind in the right places, my thoughts on the right subjects, and keeping me, as a whole, in higher spirits. Being around these people has brought out a happier and more lively me, a me I only dreamed about before arriving here. This environment and these people are more real to me, and are more of a family, than anything or anyone I’ve ever encountered elsewhere in my life. Their constructive confrontation and intention has had me growing in all directions, and now conflict leads to growth, as opposed to an argument or quarrel of some kind and a poor attitude. Yet of all the things here in this community which have brought a sense of meaning and beauty to my life, it is the spirituality which rises up and above, singing songs of truth and grace which bring light to my life, joy to my heart, and sense to my mind, and the greatest part is it’s moment to moment occurrence. After nearly six and a half years of searching, confusion, pain, and tears, I finally feel at peace. I had read up on every belief system and philosophy the world could throw at me, and none of them brought peace like this. My relationship with God has grown and continues to grow every day. I now commune with God in my heart and mind regularly. There are group prayers where we gather holding hands, the energy levels rise as our hands unite, and we share silence and prayer with God. I find myself in introspection often, usually praying several times throughout the day—whether with others, or alone in silence The stability and balance of the spirituality in this community have brought me to a meditative state of mind where the dominating feelings are happiness and contentment and the dominating thoughts are of God, heavenly beings, and love. The teachings here resonate with my soul and bring an understanding to all of the twisted concepts I learned before arriving, making sense of all philosophy and belief systems, and of all religions. Being here has changed my life and my perception of life, for the common good of all on this planet. I am amazed at the level of harmony and happiness I experience here daily, as if my dreams have become a reality. I work every day to help play a part in bringing on a change to this planet, and the best is yet to come!

Brad is now 28

Kachein

graduated

My name is Kachein, and I am 30 years old. The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program ministry has helped me in many areas of my life, spiritually and materially. Before coming to live with and be a part of the rehabilitation program I was living in New York, struggling to survive. I worked many different jobs that didn't pay much and was unhappy with all of them. The money I was making was barely enough to keep a roof over my head. At that time, I was also addicted to alcohol and knew I needed to stop drinking. Living here with the religious community has guided me to whom God wants me to be. Here I learn to work for the common good of all, not for self. I am learning a lot about our Universal Father and Christ Michael (Jesus) who is our Creator of our local universe as spoken of in The URANTIA Book. I am also studying Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation (The Cosmic Family volumes), which teaches me about ascension science, cosmic relations, dio (not of God) traits, Deo (of God) traits, and different universes. Now that I have a relationship with God, I continue to stay off alcohol. I live in a beautiful home and am surrounded by people with like mind who want to help others. With the help of God I continue to work here and enjoy what I do. I feel this is my calling and what God wants me to do.

Kachein is now 40

David

My name is David, and I am 33 years old. One of the greatest blessings of living in this religious community is raising my son here. Ever since I began to recognize that our planet's future lies in our children, and their children, I've dreamt of being a part of making that happen. Having the support, resources, health-care, school and teachers, the co-parenting, and vision for raising a child is a rare gift. With such a structure I've had a strong sense of security for his precious life. The opportunity to be a father in such a supportive "village" has grown me in countless ways. With the world in such turmoil I feel pained about the suffering children out there. Those of us here committed to The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program are implementing a new godly reality to raise these future leaders and special souls within. I feel privileged to be a part of this. Having walked the Earth a bit, having long meandered in the third-dimensional matrix, and having completed degrees in Religion and Philosophy, I put a lot of effort into finding out what is real. God led me to the truth, through painful trial, over and over again. Having been on many different sides of reality, I've found it stabilizing to understand finally what the basic path is for all people through the revealed teachings and guidance here. The Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program provides the tools mindally, physically, and spiritually for me to interface with the destiny I've been seeking. I was led to bits and pieces searching for many years but never had a comprehensive enough vision to integrate into. Before being led to this living revelation I could not find a plan broad enough to join forces with and devote my life to service through, even though I journeyed to the "seats" and holy places of major world religions and spiritual movements and "sat at the feet" of different teachers. This is what many, many souls are seeking for.

David is now 44

Robert

graduated

My name is Robert, and I am 22 years of age. In California I found myself in a life of drugs, particularly marijuana. I thought that this brought me closer to God. Actually, it caused me to malfunction in many areas of my life. If it had not been for the help of Global Family Legal Services, I would have been incarcerated--jailed. Now I have a future and a life. The program I recently graduated from was a TASC equivalent program called the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. Soon after I first started living with the PIRP, they helped me in many ways—materially and spiritually. I lived in a nice house with many nice people. There was always a lot of good food. And I never lacked any of my basic needs. Working at Avalon Gardens helped me a lot physically too. I became a harder worker. Getting the chance to work in agriculture with the soil was a big blessing to me. It taught me a skill and to appreciate food more. It helped me to love the earth and respect her more. PIRP also helped me spiritually. Being in the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program and living in a drug-free environment helped me to get off and stay off drugs. Studying the life of Jesus, as found in The URANTIA Book at the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program helped me to grow in my relationship with God. Living in community helped me very much in my social life and taught me to share more with other people. I really thank God that He brought me to these very wonderful people and places in Sedona and Tubac, Arizona.

Robert is now 30

VarNaNae

graduated

My name is VarNaNae, and I am 41 years old. I have been on a spiritual path most of my life. I explored many religions of various kinds—traditional to nontraditional—with the hope of making a true connection with God; even so, I could not quite get to a true spiritual awakening in my life. Now I'm a member of the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. I receive spiritual training and education that is lasting. Here I have the opportunity to apply it to my life; true spiritual growth is worth its weight in gold to me. The spiritual path is not an easy one; staying focused and on the right path can be difficult at times. The Elders here have given me much love, guidance, and care-fronting when needed; I am truly grateful to them. I thank God that I have remained here. The spiritual experience I am gaining is helping me to make a difference on a planetary level by making changes within myself. Being raised in foster homes, I never felt like I belonged. Now I have become part of a team of change agents who have a similar vision of helping to right some of the wrongs of this planet. My talents are being more used, and I am a part of a musical band called The Change Agents Band—something I only dreamed about before I came here.

VarNaNae is now 51

Neriza

My name is Neriza, and I am 28 years old. Coming to the PIRP, originally from the Philippines, has helped me learn a lot compared to if I was living outside of the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. I felt very disconnected before committing myself to the PIRP, even though I had a family who loved me. Coming here has made me feel emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually connected. More and more, the longer I am committed to this way of life, each level of commitment brings me closer to God—knowing, understanding my own soul/body. One example is a doctor who works within the PIRP. He is a doctor who will minister to you by educating you with higher truth and will suggest resources which you can look into about how to heal from within and outwards: what foods to put in your mouth (materially speaking and spiritually), body movements/exercises to keep your blood flow naturally, and papers and books you can study to help you move forward mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Like many others who have committed their life to God who are here, I have been more interested and have appreciated more how I need to treat the vehicle (body) I am in, and my soul. I'm learning more and more every day how to be my brother's and sister’s keeper, by being of service, unselfishly. Interacting with the people here who have come from all walks of life has helped me realize there is only one God. On an outward look, I am able to also meet a diversity of people who pass by the PIRP. With Future Studios—a place where many concerts are held—I am able to see, hear, understand, and expand my perspective about people from their culture, religion, race, music they play, and stories they tell which have been passed down for generations, etc.—even the society they live in, their environment, their government and more. How they experience the manipulation of the world, their point of views, and so on has helped me become more aware of what’s going on with the world. Living in an environment as we do here—which is trying every day to change for the "common good of all"— I'm learning how to change the reality I create myself—from how I think, how I associate myself with others, what I read, and so on, which all depends on the education I receive from others in the public who come to Future Studios or who come to events which are held at Avalon Gardens—experiences I would never have had in my struggles to support myself. I also learn from people who just come to the core of the community or Church to check us out. "Walking the talk" is difficult to do, which I am learning more and more how to do every day. I try my best to hear and commune with God. In many ways our ways of life remind me how I was brought up from a disciplined, loving family, where we also learned much about how to respect our elders. Where God-oriented structure doesn't exist—like what we have at the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program—I would be lost.

Neriza is now 38

Ashley

graduated

Hi my name is Ashley. I’m seventeen years old and am on the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program for young adults. My time here has completely changed me, and without a doubt, for the better. I feel like an entirely new person, and I am definitely happier than ever before. For a while before I came here I was really starting to feel empty. It seemed that I could not find true happiness in anything that crossed my path. I was smoking pot all day everyday; I was going through about a pack of cigarettes a day; I was drinking; I was experimenting with other drugs, and I couldn’t keep a job to save my life. I very much hated attending school because I was surrounded by mostly immature people that I could not relate to. Not only that, I thought the curriculum was pretty ridiculous. I left public school half way through my junior year and finished my high school education through an Internet program. I graduated on May 1st of 2007, and on that very same day I began to inquire about the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program. Since I’ve been living here, there has been a tremendous change in the way I feel as well as in my thought patterns. I’m no longer doing any drugs; I’m no longer smoking; I’m no longer drinking, and it feels great to be sober again! I will say that the process of quitting has never been easier than it is here; in fact, this is the only time I’ve actually been able to quit. I’ve also made many strong connections with the committed people here, and it feels like we’re just one big family, and I absolutely love it. I have endless love and support from everyone, and that alone has given me the bit of confidence I’ve always needed. I’m not used to being surrounded by such kind-hearted people; I’m used to a world of competition, and eliminating that competition from my life has been so comforting. I have learned much discipline, something my parents couldn’t manage to hammer into me after seventeen years. I’m learning responsibility, respect, honesty, discernment rather than judgment, and I’ve learned to truly appreciate who I am with and what I have. My parents have visited me here, and they support my choice to be here too. Most importantly for me, I now have God in my life which I’ve never had before coming here. I’m finally building a relationship with God and I’m learning how to grow in His perfect will. Every time I make a higher choice that it is in God’s will, it’s like a whole new experience, and it feels simply amazing. From being here I’ve realized what an emotional and sensitive person I am, and when I’m having any kind of problem, I know now to take it straight to God. There is something so wonderful and beautiful about taking the time to stop what I’m doing and just pray. With that said, I feel honored and blessed to be here serving our Father on a moment to moment basis, and I certainly don’t plan on leaving my new family.

Ashley is now 27

Judy

My name is Judy, and I am 43 years old. When I first had a spiritual awakening at the age of 24, my life was going pretty smoothly. I had no major health problems or self-destructive habits ruling my life, and I felt pretty good about myself and the world around me. I felt a strong connection to Jesus and started seeking His will in every area of my life. It was an exciting, beautiful time, and I sincerely wanted to do God’s will. However, I did not realize then that just beneath the surface were some deeply embedded, self-destructive patterns that would not be so easy to overcome. I wanted things to be easy and when they weren’t, I had a tendency to “flee.” Little did I know that I would flee right into the arms of the devil himself. Unbridled liberty—it seemed like freedom at first, easy, but only to my lower self, my fallen self, who had been out of God’s will for so many lifetimes—until I began to face that many of the choices I was making were not God’s will and were causing me great sorrow and suffering. There’s a saying, “The path to hell is paved with good intentions.” Well, there I was, in the hell that I created for myself. By that time I was not feeling safe in the world or with myself. I started doing a meditative visualization where I created a safe space for myself, and one day Jesus appeared in my visualization out of the blue, and we were walking on the beach together. He was talking to me and I remember having a very distinct feeling of being completely safe and secure with Him and realizing that I had never felt that with any man in my life, including my father. It was such a relief; I hungered for it. Most of my unbridled liberty had to do with getting involved with men who, although they were charming, intelligent, multi-dimensional, and successful in the world on different levels, were not good for me. I was committing a slow emotional and spiritual suicide and didn’t realize it until I had gone so far “under” that I didn’t think I would ever come out of it. Being involved in the Personality Integration Rehabilitation Program has given me the opportunity to be bridled enough to begin a tremendous healing process. With the help of the teachings by Gabriel and Niánn on evil and sin and what true healing really is, the love and support of the healing team here, and especially the merciful love and support of Jesus Christ Michael and His entourage of celestial ministers, I am now able to free myself from the stronghold that addictive patterns and compulsive behaviors had on me. The presence of the angels here is very real, and they have helped me through some “dark nights of the soul.” I’ve been able to begin to get that “safe, secure” feeling back, but on a much deeper level because it is coming from the relationship I am cultivating with God, not with anything outside of myself like a man, a car, a certain amount of money, or a career. Although it’s still a struggle with my lower self every day, I actually feel more free and happier than I ever have. I’m beginning to really experience that true freedom comes from security in God and a peace that passes all understanding because of a closeness with God and the Spirit of Truth, the comforter within, and from finding your destiny, God’s purpose for you in this world. For a number of years my life took some unexpected twists and turns which brought me to the depths of despair. In those desperate moments, I doubted it was possible for me to find the kind of peace and security within that I often have now. I didn’t think I could overcome my addiction to security in “things” or heal from all the pain on the level I needed to in order to be happy. And although there is still much healing to do, I have overcome quite a bit on many levels, and I am no longer in that deep despair I experienced for many years. I believe that it is through the teachings and the love and support I have gotten here that I have been able to do this. I feel extremely grateful that I don’t have to live in that “hell” I was in anymore. One day at a time, I can find peace and fulfillment in being of service to God and humanity. I am functioning more and more fully on all levels, as I overcome my lower tendencies and become more of my unique God-given personality, reflecting Him and becoming more like Him, which is what true fulfillment really is for every human being.

Judy is now 54

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